The Prophet’s Charismatic Manners With Women

Prophet Muhammad, may the mercy and blessings of God be upon him, was described as a
“Mercy for all the Worlds”, as God says (what means):“We have sent you as a mercy for all the worlds.”
(Quran 21:107)

This mercy encompasses each and every one to reach Women for women, in Islam, has a great rule in building up the whole society, that’s why Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, paid her a special attention and urges Muslim men to treat her kindly and support her with all what she needs.

Prophet Muhammad’s, peace be upon him, mercy upon women is apparent in her over all the stages she passes by:

His Mannars with her as a daughter:

Daughters were badly treated in the pre-Islamic era: man, if informed that his wife gave birth to a female child, he would be very sad as stated in the Qur’an (what means):
{“And when one of them is informed of [the birth of] a female, his face becomes dark, and he suppresses grief. He hides himself from the people because of the ill of which he has been informed. Should he keep it in humiliation or bury it in the ground?  Unquestionably, evil is what they decide.} (Qur’an 58:59)

In addition, some men would even bury their daughter alive; one of the prophet’s companions who had killed his daughter in the era that preceded Islam narrated his story:
“We would worship idols in the pre-Islamic era and kill our daughters. I had a daughter, who, when she was old enough to comprehend and talk, would rejoice whenever she saw me and would immediately respond. One day, I called her and told her to follow me, so she did, until we reached a well that belonged to my tribe. I then took her by her hand and threw her in the well, and the last thing I heard her cry was: ‘O father! O father!'” (Ad-Daarimi)

In order to abolish such pre-Islamic methods in treating daughters, prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, states:
“He who is involved (in the responsibility) of (nurturing) daughters and is generous to them, will have them as a fortification for himself against the Hellfire.” (Al-Bukhaari & Muslim)

He, peace be upon him, also said:
“Whoever God has given two daughters and is kind towards them, will have them as a reason for him to be admitted into Paradise.” And: “Whoever God has given three daughters and he preserves through raising them, will have them as a shield for him from the Hellfire on the Day of Resurrection.” (Muslim)
Thus, it is incorrect to believe that one has been humiliated by being granted a girl; rather it is an honor, a bounty and a gate towards Paradise.

His Manners with her as a wife:

Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) has guided his people to keep good company with their wives by word and deed. He said in his famous farewell sermon: “Fear God with regards to women, you have taken them in the trust of God …”

When addressing people to treat women kindly, Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, said:

“Treat women kindly, they were created from a rib, and the most crooked part of the rib is the highest part thereof; so, if you tried to rectify the rib it will be broken and if you left the rib as it is, it will remain crooked, and women are like this; therefore treat them kindly.”. (Bukhary & Muslim)

The Prophet (peace be upon him) directed men not only to treat women kindly, but also demonstrated their reality to convince men to accept his precious advise, because if men realized that women are crooked by nature, then they should be patient with women knowing that they cannot be straightforward always, and knowing that they are acting by their nature.

The Prophet (peace be upon him) reiterated his commandment for woman because he knows well their nature. This nature cannot be tolerated by some of the men who do not have control on themselves when they got angry; thus, their intolerance on the crookedness of women leads them to divorce them; consequently, they lose their wives and scatter their families.

Therefore, the Prophet – peace be upon him – guided Muslim husbands in another tradition to the right way of dealing with their families by saying:
“The faithful husband should not hate his faithful wife, because if he hates a certain manner in her character, then he should not forget the other good manners in her character.”(Muslim)

The Prophet (peace be upon him) also said  : “Those who are the best believers are those who have the best manners and the most kind to their families.” (At Termithi)
The Prophet (peace be upon him) also said: “The best of you is the best to his family and I am the best of you to my family”.
The Prophet (peace be upon him) also said: “Anything not involving the extolment of Allah is vanity or negligence except four things: exercising shooting, training the horse, playing with his family and learning swimming”. (Al Nasa’i)

There are plenty of traditions urging the Muslims to have good manners with their families.

His Manners with her as a Mother:

Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) continually used to remind his followers of the status of mothers. The following narration is a beautiful example of the noble position of the mother:

A man came to the Prophet and said: “O Messenger of Allah! Who from amongst mankind warrants the best companionship from me? He replied: “Your mother.” The man asked: Then who? So he replied: “Your mother.” The man then asked: Then who? So the Prophet replied again: “Your mother.” The man then asked: Then who? So he replied: “Then your father.” (Sahîh Bukhârî 5971 and Sahîh Muslim 7/2)

Commenting on this, Muhammad Ali Al-Hashimi, says:
“This saying confirms that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) gave precedence to kind treatment of one’s mother over kind treatment of one’s father.”
(Al-Hashimi, The Ideal Muslimah, IIPH 2005, p. 165)

Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) also said in a famous narration:
‘Paradise lies at the feet of your mother’ (Ahmad, An-Nasâ’i, Ibn Mâjah)

What can be greater evidence of honoring women than this? Islam has effectively placed the ultimate reward for human beings in their devotion to their mothers.

Talhah ibn Mu’âwiyah as-Salamî, a companion of the prophet, said:

I came to the Prophet and said, “O Messenger of Allah, I want to perform Jihad in the way of Allah. He asked, “Is your mother alive?” I replied, “Yes.” The Prophet then said: “Cling to her feet, because paradise is there.” (at-Tabarânî).

A Muslim scholar comments on this saying:
Cling to her feet means to submit yourself to her, be close to her, protect her, serve her because in this is Paradise and with her satisfaction you will enjoy the good blessings of Allah. (Honoring the Parents, p.52).

Even after Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him), Muslim scholars continued to stress the importance of being dutiful to one’s mother. By examining the conduct and teachings of the early Muslim scholars, one may see how the direct recipients of the Islamic message understood the command to be dutiful to one’s parents.

The secret of such treatment prescribed by prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) lies in the tremendous burden and responsibility that is placed upon her. So, Prophet Muhammad paid a special attention towards mothers to lighten such burden and to make them feel that they are appreciated and that they have a special position in the hearts of their sons and daughters.
To conclude, this shows that Islam honors women and gives them a special treatment that the west couldn’t give.

May God Guide us all.

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